showing results for "Jerkmate Ranked"

Ahoy me hearties! If you’re buying an insertable toy for pegging, you be wantin’ a curve. It’s that curvature that enables it to get in, and up, and hit the prostate—like a curled-up finger. While other toys might have a little nobbley bit or you’ll need to reposition yourself for the best experience, the Captain’s Hook from Hankey’s Toys is an almost comically curved dildo that’s absolutely perfect for missionary styles of pegging positions. And it’s not just great for the p-spot; if you like big toys for g-spot stimulation then this should work wonders too. But for now, raise your Jolly Roger, shiver yer timbers, and avast ye: the Captain’s Hook!

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This butt slaps, *and* it sucks - but in a good way. Here's some buzz about it (all puns intended): I've made a few (okay, a lot) of drunk purchases in my life, and the two dozen word title for this toy really grabbed the attention of my one brain cell. The "Busty Butt Sex Doll Male Sex Toys, Stronger Vortex 5 Sucking & 8 Vibrating Modes with Deeper Vagina Automatic Male Masturbator 9.8LB Adult Sex Toy for Men Electric 3D Lifelike Mens Sex Dolls Stroker" from BIG SHOCKED (here on referred to as "Busty Butt") turned out to be a surprisingly pleasurable purchase. The usual advice is "Don't buy sex toys off Amazon, you'll get some cheaply made Chinese crap that's probably full of toxic chemicals". Reasonable advice for the most part, but life's all about taking risks - and thinking with your little head is always risky. Well no one in the Amazon comments reported their dick falling off, and the high quality marketing materials and range of products led me to believe this manufacturer actually cares a little. Plus, it's on Prime - and when you're drunk and horny and this thing'll show up before you wake up hungover in the afternoon, you're going to hit the "But it Now" button. For the price of a Fleshlight, this toy weighs in at a solid 10lbs and includes all the bells and whistles and vacuums and vibrators. I'd say go for it.

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Short, stubby, and with a massive head, the Plumber dildo from Hankey’s Toys wastes no time in getting right to the business of plugging your leaky pipes. This pleasurable plunger is great for those who either love the feeling of a pronounced head popping in and out, or for couples who love using a strap-on but struggle with longer toys and really want to feel their partner’s body push up against them as they take the full length. Oh—and for people who fantasize about fucking Mario. I guess that’s a thing?

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